Aeroplanes
by CombinedForces
Summary: This is a TOTALLY RANDOM parody crossover of a lot of books including The Vampire Diaries, Twilight, The Immortals Series,House of Night, and Supernatural TV show ! If you like randomness, READ THIS! XD


_**Hi. I don't own any of the characters in this story. Enjoy :)**_

Taxi Drivers

I climb into a taxi. The taxi driver tells me hello, and that his name is Clyde Langer.

I say hello, but do not tell him my name. He looks dodgy.

He asks me if I like aliens.

I say no.

Then he asks me if I like people that fight aliens.

I tell him that I don't know any, so I didn't know if I'd like them.

He asks me if I like him.

I am silent for a moment before remarking that I had no idea who he was.

He seems offended by this, and doesn't talk to me for the rest of the journey.

I don't mind this.

Airports

I am here to go to New York. Currently I am in Paris. I stand in line to check in. My suitcase has pictures of Edward Cullen stuck on it. I did not stick them on there, Edward did. I finally reach the check-in desk. I put my suitcase on the platform and hand the man behind the desk my passport.

He asks me if my name is really Isabella Marie Swan.

I tell him that it is. Then I notice a sign on the desk. It informs me that I am not allowed to take toothpaste on the plane with me. I ask the person behind the desk his name. He tells me that it is John Gilbert. I ask him why I am not allowed toothpaste on the plane. He tells me that it is because I could be a terrorist and I could be concealing a bomb in the toothpaste.

I do not think I am a terrorist- or that I look like one. I am now angry at John.

He tells me I can go now. I walk away, but then I remember something and run back. I run right into the people in front of the desk. According to their passports, their names are Elena Gilbert and Stefan Salvatore. I stare at Stefan for a moment- his hair reminds me of Edwards. I turn to John.

I inquire if he has any breathmints. He says no. I am outraged at John. He took my toothpaste so now my breath stinks, and he refuses to share his breathmints, which I know he has because his packet is lying on the desk. I glare at him and walk away, limping slightly for dramatic effect.

I have to wait for an hour until the plane is ready. KFC is packed with people, and there is only one available seat left. I carry my mega-meal over to that table.

I tell the man who is sharing the table with me hello.

He says hello.

I ask him his name.

He tells me it is James.

I tell him my name.

He tells me I smell nice. I see his hand twitching for his spoon.

I eat quickly, James staring at me all the time.

When I finish eating, I tell James goodbye. He says nothing, and I walk over to the bin to dispose of my trash. When I open the bin, I see a man crouching inside. He is tall and tanned with long blonde dreadlocks.

I politely ask him why he is in a bin.

He tells me he likes surfing.

I dump my KFC remains over him.

He doesn't react.

Aeroplane Trouble

As I climb on the plane, I see people stare at me. I do not mind. It's because of my hat- shaped like a banana. I find my seat and sit down. After a few moments, someone sits down next to me in the aisle seat. I ignore him and concentrate on my book- 'Shadows', it is called. The plane takes off.

As we reach the clouds, I glance outside my window. I see an unusual sight. There is someone sitting on the wing, with a picnic blanket, a woven basket, and a few cheese and ham sandwiches. He looks short, with black hair with red woven through it. He sees me looking at him. He mouths something at me. I shrug. This seems to be the reaction he was looking for as he then smiles and holds up a sandwich. I shake my head. He looks confused. I point to the window and shrug. He seems to think that I had pointed at him. He starts to look angry. Suddenly he raises his hand and throws the sandwich at my window. The guy beside me looks up from his book- called 'Jane Eyre'– at the sound and stares at the window covered in sandwich. I look at him. He says nothing, only bends down and begins looking in his bag for something. I turn my attention away from his golden curls and ocean blue eyes, back to the window. I jerk back in surprise. By now the sandwich has been blown away. The boy is now banging the window with his head and is attempting to bite the glass. I see what I once thought were red flashes are pink. I turn my attention back to my book, and ignore the sandwich fiend.

The man beside me has managed to bring out a whole cake from his bag. It is huge with pink icing. I do not react out of politeness, though in my head I am laughing. He notices me staring. I turn away.

He asks me if I would like some cake, gesturing to his last slice.

I refuse.

He seems offended by this, pouts, and turns around, then eats the cake.

I ask him if I had offended him.

He tells me that yes, I had.

I ask him why.

He tells me that the cake is his best friend.

I tell him that if this is true, then he has just eaten his best friend.

He seems shocked by my observation. He gasps and begins to sob. I feel awkward. People stare at him and me. I look away, but I feel their gazes. I tug my banana hat over my eyes. Then I realise that this was a stupid thing to do, because now I can't see my book. I pull my hat back up to see the man beside me glaring at me.

I tell him I am sorry.

He only prods me with a pen and continues glaring. An air hostess walks by then.

I ask her if she could move my seat to somewhere far away.

My request is denied.

Hotels

I flag down a taxi when I exit the New York airport. I quickly climb inside after stuffing my luggage into the boot. I sit on the leather seats, exhauster. The man with the sandwiches had jumped me as soon as I left the plane. I had had to run around, avoiding the sandwiches he threw at me. It was a relief to talk to someone normal. Suddenly I hear a thud on top of the taxi. The sandwich guy climbs down from the roof and starts writing on the window with tomato ketchup. I tell the taxi driver to wait as I read the message. It says 'I will make you eat sandwiches for the rest of your life'.

I tell the taxi driver to floor it. He does.

When we are a safe distance away, I ask the taxi driver his name. He tells me it is The Trickser, Trikki for short. I see his non-face in the mirror. I then ask him if he is related to Voldemort in anyway. He stops the taxi, pushes me out, and then drives away.

I feel lonely.

An hour later, a man walks up to me. He tells me his name is Kalona. He has huge wings on his back. He tries to hug me, but suddenly another guy pops up from no-where and shoots him.

I tell him I am Bella Swan.

He tells me he is Castiel.

I ask him if he has a surname. He disappears.

Another hour later, a taxi drives by. I flag it down. It slows, and I climb in. I tell him my name is Bella Swan, and that I want him to take me to the Grand Logan Fell Hotel. He tells me his name is John Quinn and that his car isn't actually a taxi, it's just a yellow car. I tell him to drive me there anyway. He does.

When I arrive at the hotel, I ask the woman at the check in desk where my room is. She glares at me. She had red hair so I am quite scared. She asks me where 'Damen' is. I back away slowly. She brings out a red energy drink. At that moment, a man comes out and punches her. This turns her to dust. He tells me he is Erik Night. I hiss at him. I do not like the name Erik.

He looks slightly taken aback. I run behind the desk, frighteningly close to Erik, and find out where my room is. Then I run up to my room. I slam the door behind me and collapse onto my bed.

The world is full of freakin' crazy people.


End file.
